Without a Goal, You Can’t Score

As mentioned in my last blog post, this one was always going to be dedicated to my bucket list. It’s one that I started to make at the beginning of the year, shortly after this website was made. So far, I have come up with a staggering 52 things I’d love to experience before I die. In no particular order, I’m about to break them down to provide insight into the person behind the portfolio.

 

Andrew’s Bucket List (in no particular order)

1. Obviously, marry the love of my life – I’ve stated that these are in no particular order but this is definitely number one. Since day dot, I’ve had the desire to find the woman of dreams. There’s no shifting this one off top spot. I’m after the awe-inspiring, beautiful partner.
2. Visit North Pole – The North Pole is strangely a place I’d love to visit. Being part of an exclusive group of people to have visited and meeting Santa Clause himself is something I’d love to check off my bucket list.
3. Have a massive wedding, catching up with all the old friends of days gone – Tying in well with #1, I want to marry when the time is right. By that, I mean the wedding to top all weddings. I only ever want one wedding in my life and there will be no cautious spending here to make my declaration of that. I’d invite all the friends of days gone by, having catch-ups since the years we last met. Going all out for my princess and rekindling old friends.
4. Visit Australia – There’s much to life down under and I’d find it fascinating to visit the country. Just the wildlife alone, friends from summer camp and the threat of drop bears will be enough for me to make the 24 hour flight across the globe!
5. Own a house – It’s a simple one, but has to go on the list nonetheless. I want the flexibility of having my own pad and building my kingdom.
6. Have kids – Ideally two, one son and one daughter.
7. Take kids to Disneyland – I never went as a kid, but I’d love to make my kids dreams come true. Its a bucket list item I’m holding off of for now as I want that giddy feeling when I experience it with them.
8. Record a song, whether that be a cover version or custom – I’m not musical in any way, shape or form. I’d love to one day record a song and openly declare my love for my partner.
9. Learn to play an instrument – Tying in with the above, I’d love to learn an instrument. I never took music seriously at school, but I’d like to learn now.
10. Run a marathon – Always a competent runner, I’d like to run a marathon for charity. I did a 5km run many years ago so fancy my chances of one day testing my stamina to the extreme.
11. Write and release a book – Already being worked upon, I’d love to say that on my deathbed, I gave everything a go. This is one of those things. I’m super excited to have the chance of one day seeing my book in a bookstore.
12. Create a video game – I’m a gamer. I did Computer Science (Artificial Intelligence) at university so I could learn how computer controlled players worked in games. While I have made a game already, see portfolio, I’d love to be able to make a game that I can distribute properly one day.
13. Visit the Amazon – Just for the weird kooky wildlife you get there. I’m sure you’d bump in to a couple of tribes too.
14. Ride a helicopter – A small, but essential one on the list. They all count!
15. Visit and gamble in Vegas – Stag do anyone? Ties in well with That’s Your Best Bet ventures too, but in all honesty I just want a crazy break there like the Hangover movies.
16. Visit Japan – A man of technology can’t help but admire Japan. It would be an alien world to a man of the west but I’d love to visit and bask in their culture.
17. Zipline – I’d find it cool one day to do so, but it’ll come eventually.
18. Hot air balloon – Always seemed like a fun way to get from A to B.
19. Snowboard – It’s something I’ve yet to do and everyone who comes back from it says its awesome. Would love to give it a shot and I bet i’ll be on my arse in minutes.
20. Ski – As above.
21. Zorbing – Bring out the inner child in you by rolling in a ball of air down a hill!
22. Visit Bletchley Park – Experiencing where modern computing came to be, particularly after studying the course excites me. I’m sure a lot of it will go over my head but there’s only one way to find out.
23. Be a best man – From one man to a fellow man, this is any mans dream.
24. Own an Arcade Shop – I’d love to own an arcade shop when I’m older. Perhaps as a retirement thing to do, own an amusements by the sea.
25. Visit Hollywood – All the glitz and glamor!
26. Make Lemonade – One of the games I played as a kid back in the late 90’s was lemonade tycoon. It was one of the early pillars that got me in to gaming and I’d love to set up a stall outside one day and try to flog some!
27. See a magic show (Penn and Teller style) – None of these small time kids entertainers, I want my mind, heart and soul to be blown.
28. With the kids.. Have an opposite day, dinner for breakfast etc. – Growing up, I’ve always been intrigued how this would go down! I’d love to give it a shot when the kids are bored one summer holiday!
29. Go karting – Strangely, I’ve not done petrol go-karting.
30. Write a open letter to unborn children for them to read when 18 (write when they’re in womb?) – Of course, this would be the pinnacle of an extraordinary present for them to open.
31. Watch a rocket launch – Seeing humanities effort to venture out of our world would be an awesome sight. That may mean going to Florida again!
32. Go to a drive in movie theatre – Like a scene from Grease.
33. Visit the pyramids – Visiting a different side of the world, soaking up the culture from olden times. Definitely would have to buy myself a commemorative Egyptian beetle/Scarab too.
34. Spa day – Destress with all sorts of cosmetic magic that goes on in there. Walk out, feeling and looking like a freshly born baby; because that’s attractive!
35. Ride a segway – Again, something different and fun while you futuristically move from A to B.
36. Make each of my kids a scrapbook – Memories and keepsakes are things I’ve always held dear. Having only gone through my own scrapbook recently (made when I was 10), I can only smile. I want them to experience that too while unforgettable memories are jotted down in an oldschool fashion.
37. Attend a world cup match, ideally England or the final – Any football fans dream really. I’ll be realistic though and state that England won’t get to a final in my lifetime!
38. Water jetpack – Not that I’d have any control or anything. I’d be like a loose hose going off in the garden, spraying the neighbours and the like.
39. Visit Niagara Falls – No place really like it and I know it’d be crammed full of tourists. Still, it’d be a sight to behold, admiring one of the 7 wonders of the world.
40. Do a tour of The Louvre – I’m all for conspiracy theories so kind of fell for the fiction of The Da Vinci Code. I’d still like to admire the artwork at this place just before I visit #41…
41. Go up Eiffel Tower – I presume these are next to each other? Well, Paris is a city of romance and I’d love to see this iconic structure in all its glory.
42. Grand Canyon – My love for America crops up once again in my bucket list. Where else can you visit some huge crack on earth? And don’t say my mum!
43. Work abroad – I guess you could count Camp America… But I’d like to visit some country, work there a few months/years while making new connections and memories.
44. Go on a cruise – It’d be so fun to have a holiday on the seas! All entertainment under one roof and then the excitement of visiting a new country on top!? Sign me up.
45. Visit a jail – A proper, fully functioning one. It’s a side of society that you really forget about in day to day life. I’d love to give it a visit, perhaps speak to a few inmates and see what obscenities are inside. Do they even do visits? I don’t know, but it would definitely be high on my bucket list.
46. Go to a WWF/WWE event – We all know its fake and staged. But the adrenalin and showbiz of it all would be such a laugh!
47. Read Anne Franks Diary – Not high on the list, but at some point in my life, I’d like to have read it.
48. Be on a TV show – These days any old Joe can get on TV. So eventually I’d like to aswell. So don’t be surprised when I’m on a gameshow one day trying to win some wonga!
49. Threesome – This wouldn’t be a bucket list without one.
50. Eventually visit all continents on the earth – Because why not?
51. Send something to space – With a GoPro and everything!
51. Run my own business – And last but not least. The dream.
Please note, there is no mention of skydiving here.
Till the next time,
A.

Shit happens

There are few films that make me reconsider day-to-day life and for that, I’m dedicating this post to one of them. I recently watched a documentary on Netflix the other day that really had my mind racing, hungry for more on the matter. It summed up the male race particularly in this age of technology. In today’s world, social pressure and the culture of masculinity has a huge pressure on men. It’s an issue that affects all of us but only this film manages to hit the nail on the head of what exactly the issue is. That film is called The Mask You Live In.

Before I make a start on this sensitive subject, I’d like to put a bit of a disclaimer in. One, this is a ramble. Two, not for one second am I saying I am perfect here. I fall for all of these society pressures too.

 

What makes a man?

Society, along with the acceleration of abundance in technology has had a dramatic impact on the male race. Everywhere you go, all you see is male dominance. Sports is widely regarded as being the number one icon of what it takes to be a man. There is no excuse for ‘playing like a girl’, ‘crying’ or not following what it takes to be ‘a lad’. Supporting a football club and eyeing up the latest hottie to strut through the office is just part of the job spec. Every man also has to be the best they can be. Screwed up? Well, it’s a learning experience to do better next time. There is no excuse for failure.

There are a lot of really well made points in this documentary that struck a chord. It’s instantly recognisable after seeing this film how society is shaping the modern man to be insecure, anxious and depressed.

Everyone reading this post has their suppressed problems, particularly those between 18 and 30. I’d probably put most of them down to the following saying ‘comparison is the thief of happiness’. This is where modern technology plays its part in to the game of masculinity. Social Networks are the prime target of my rant here. They’re geared so it’s all about who gets the most amount of likes, the most amount of comments. Whoever gets the most? Well, surely that’s the most masculine person?…

Bear in mind that everyone else on Facebook is thinking the same thing. Everyone surely by this point knows that it’s not a numbers game, but in all honesty its very hard to get away from. It’s an issue that even Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t have an answer for just yet. Mark would probably like to explore the matter, it’s one of the main reasons people delete and never return to the network! Heck, the entire media industry doesn’t have the answer either. If it did? Well, there goes the advertising industry. It would collapse under the weight of people who were now in control of not allowing media to influence their decisions. It’s all a balance of making money and the affect on people. All I’m trying to get across is try not to feel that overwhelming insecurity that you can’t upload X or Y because it might not get enough likes. It’s that sort of added stress you don’t need.

If you watch a modern superhero movie these days, guess who the hero is. Well I can name a few of their attributes: strong, silent, always in control and is not emotional.

Now for anyone that knows me at all well, they are aware that I’m a gamer. This is probably where the film touched home a bit with me. Video games obviously have an impact on male behaviour too. Reinforcing stereotypical structures of what a man should be. Typical characters being tall males with 5 o’clock shadow, brunette hair. When emotion sneaks in to the gameplay, by and large it’s anger. Any grief in the storyline is very underplayed, not really discussed or processed. Kids end up looking up to these traits and what they end up doing is looking up to someone who can’t express themselves emotionally and cannot be open or honest with anyone around them.

Combine this with the explosion of porn that boys see from the age 12 upwards and there is the poisonous concoction society has put upon men. Playing games, consuming media alone while seeing a skewed view of what ‘society is like’. Surely this plays a part in which has reared the ugly beast of a society we see today before us. The constant bombardment of objectifying women and intentionally or unintentionally, not seeing the humanity in girls plays its part in to the violence regularly seen in news outlets. Why has it become normal to assume that the latest shooting in the news was conducted by a male? It’s plainly clear that there is something fundamentally wrong with the male species today.

 

It’s no wonder that boys are three times more likely to be kicked out of school than girls and this transcends out of the education environment into the real world. The shocker? Well, male suicide is 7x higher than girls in the ages of 20-24. Now that’s one pill-shaped stat you may want to swallow with a glass of water. It’s clear that from that sole statistic alone, the issue is taboo.

Emotion in the modern man is something that is suppressed.

 

Respect Your Fellow Man

This leads me on to my final point, which I only realised after watching The Mask You Live In on Netflix. Heck, this final chapter sums up why the blog post was called what it is, shit happens. There are men in my life who haven’t provided that male figure to look up toward, be inspired by and lean on in hard times. However, I never considered that their story could follow the similar lines that were highlighted in such a film. It’s not just an issue that has come about since technology, it’s got roots far beyond that.

 

There is a quote from the film that I loved.

“…She saw enough in me to say ‘I know theres something going on with you, I know your dad died before you were born, but you’re using that as an excuse. You’re too smart to act like you are not. We don’t always get to choose what happens to us, but we have a responsibility to make the most out of it’.”

 

Everyone has been scarred from something in the past. Whether it be a sudden death, illness, heartbreak, financial woes, affairs, substance abuse, drinking problems… The point is, there are things out of our control and histories that people hide under the mask they present to society. Overthinking such problems where you believe you are alone in such woes are the stem of many mental health issues. It’s not just you who is feeling down, neither should it be normal to keep it behind that mask you carry around. This post hasn’t been called shit happens for the ‘shock factor’. As much as I hate the saying, it is a fact. Shit happens is a very dismissive saying but has a whole lot of truth to it with the lack of poetry to boot. What is at the essence of the matter is to be adaptable, go with the flow. I believe that those who are most adaptive to such situations are those who are strongest in today’s world. But it’s how you bounce back from those issues. If there are people that you look at with regret, consider what may have scarred them and how they perhaps failed at bouncing back. No government or self-help class will be able to help you bounce back if you don’t have that driving force within yourself.

 

I think my next blog post will be an insight in to my bucket list. It will go some way to provide insight in to who I am. The goals I set for myself and what I want to become. Because of the way I was raised, I want better for myself and therefore my kids. It may sound crazy but I like to self-reflect and work on myself. Heck, that’s what constitutes most of my portfolio and this blog!

On a bit of a tangent, I’m so excited to one day be a dad and inspire my son/daughter to be the best they can be. I’ll try to remember what this film had taught me about the battering that the modern man is taking these days while raising him/her. Personally, I believe it’s a bit too late for me to fully grow out of the mould society has put upon myself because I have been born in to it. As for my kids, well they have a fresh outlook.

I’ve grown up with people in my life where I look back and say ‘I’d hate to be like them‘. Instead of dwell upon how bad of an influence they were or how negative they had been on my upbringing, I bounce back from it. In some ways, those are the people that inspire me to succeed. I’d do anything to not become like them.

I could write on and on about the topic being discussed and I’m sure this won’t be the last time I bring up the subject. I’m sure it could be better written in parts but understand where I’m coming from… I’ve been brought into this taboo society but consider me an advocate for the small changes to make one massive one. Heck, it’s taken me months to perfect this blog post as it’s such a delicate matter that I feel very passionate about. It’s an area of interest that from about the age of 14 upwards, I noticed the shift all men are experiencing. To all who have got to this part of the blog post (somehow I have kept your interest!), again I highly recommend giving ‘The Mask You Live In’ a watch in your next Netflix + Chill session. The 90 minute documentary gives the subject a far better, well rounded, professional and honest insight in to it all. And no, I’m not sponsored by Netflix in any way (I wish)!

 

So what do I want to come of this post?

All I’d like is to make readers reconsider the next time they call the person next to them ‘gay’. The next time you see your mate having a cry and telling them to ‘man up’. Again, I’d like to emphasise that I am a product of this culture so doubt I can make much headway to break out of how I was brought up. But, I’ll try to consider this film from time to time and fingers crossed those small changes in all of us will make an impact.

 

But if there is one thing I want of this post though, is for you to watch The Mask You Live In.

 

With another blog post out in the wild, I’d like to finish this one off with something a bit different. It’s an announcement…

I’m donating a proportion of all the profits made from my ‘There’s No Place Like Summer Camp’ book to mental health charities. It’s a cause close to my heart since being affected with some mental health issues personally. I don’t think enough is being done to take this epidemic by the scruff of the neck and deal with it head on.

I don’t have the answers, but I’m sure providing my small input to the wild world of the web will go one step further to making someone else speak up and have someone to talk to.

 

 

Yours,

A.

 

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Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

It’s been a while, huh?

Well allow me to fill you in why…

So it’s been two months since I moved up north to Manchester and it’s been absolutely nuts. Coincidentally, it’s also been two months since I last blogged, do you get the gist of where this blog post is going? So to fill you anonymous folk of the dark corners of the internet… From the very off with the move, I was independent. Viewing the houses I was potentially moving in to, making all of the necessary arrangements and paperwork. It was a gigantic leap from being in the “comfort” of my parents to owning my own pad.

Settling in to a new environment was refreshing, exciting and yet another step out of my comfort zone. New people to share experiences with and a totally new area of the country to explore. Of the upmost importance though, was the independence. From the very first day after the paperwork was signed, I was in control. What was I going to eat? How would I spend my days? Where would I go out at the weekends? How would I satisfy my hobbies? How would I meet new people?

Without divulging too much detail (this blog isn’t a diary!), these were all questions that became answered very quickly.’My first place’ was outstanding in all respects, which not everyone can say for themselves. In the space of just a few short weeks (time flew by!), I was a part of a new football team, cooking up a concoction of foods to broaden my horizons, attending a wide variety of events across the span of a week and was meeting new people all the time. My YouTube channel which was a long lost cousin of my video game hobby was back, alive and kicking ready for a new challenge. A Secret Diary of American Summer Camp is in a really exciting place (more info on that one later). I was ecstatic with my situation. There was just one part that was missing though. Employment.

In the couple of months I have been staying in Manchester, I’ve been on the case for employment. I was very lucky to have had many interviews for IT roles, but unlucky in the same if not greater sense. Though interviews were coming thick and fast, I was unable to land a role. Though I’ve been fortunate enough to self fund everything (near enough) I have done from the age of 15 upwards, I never expected to have been in a position where I would actually have to drain all of the resources I had saved up over the course of my life while looking for money coming in.

Now the time has come

Recently, I heard back from an interview at one of the best companies to work for in the UK. Heck, it’s a company called Chess Telecom if you’re really keen on stalking me. It’s not just me who claims this IT company is one of the best to work for either. It’s The Sunday Times too. Rated number 2, yes NUMBER FREAKING TWO in the UK for 2016. It’s no fluke either. Since 2010, the company have been climbing the tables on how they treat employees. In 2015? Number three. Wow. So it’s a company who have an incredible reputation and not only that, they are on the way up too. So I guess that’s what I have to blog about. The big news so to speak. A good period of time has gone by, I’ve gone through many interviews and just as my head was about to drop, this incredible opportunity comes around.

So my tidbit of advice or what I’ve learned? Time. Patience. Good things come to those who wait.

I have to say, that the move has been incredible. It’s time to update the portfolio once again.

 

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