Personal Archives - Page 6 of 7 - Andrew Waterhouse Portfolio

Shit happens

There are few films that make me reconsider day-to-day life and for that, I’m dedicating this post to one of them. I recently watched a documentary on Netflix the other day that really had my mind racing, hungry for more on the matter. It summed up the male race particularly in this age of technology. In today’s world, social pressure and the culture of masculinity has a huge pressure on men. It’s an issue that affects all of us but only this film manages to hit the nail on the head of what exactly the issue is. That film is called The Mask You Live In.

Before I make a start on this sensitive subject, I’d like to put a bit of a disclaimer in. One, this is a ramble. Two, not for one second am I saying I am perfect here. I fall for all of these society pressures too.

What makes a man?

Society, along with the acceleration of abundance in technology has had a dramatic impact on the male race. Everywhere you go, all you see is male dominance. Sports is widely regarded as being the number one icon of what it takes to be a man. There is no excuse for ‘playing like a girl’, ‘crying’ or not following what it takes to be ‘a lad’. Supporting a football club and eyeing up the latest hottie to strut through the office is just part of the job spec. Every man also has to be the best they can be. Screwed up? Well, it’s a learning experience to do better next time. There is no excuse for failure.

There are a lot of really well made points in this documentary that struck a chord. It’s instantly recognisable after seeing this film how society is shaping the modern man to be insecure, anxious and depressed.

Everyone reading this post has their suppressed problems, particularly those between 18 and 30. I’d probably put most of them down to the following saying ‘comparison is the thief of happiness’. This is where modern technology plays its part in to the game of masculinity. Social Networks are the prime target of my rant here. They’re geared so it’s all about who gets the most amount of likes, the most amount of comments. Whoever gets the most? Well, surely that’s the most masculine person?…

Bear in mind that everyone else on Facebook is thinking the same thing. Everyone surely by this point knows that it’s not a numbers game, but in all honesty its very hard to get away from. It’s an issue that even Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t have an answer for just yet. Mark would probably like to explore the matter, it’s one of the main reasons people delete and never return to the network! Heck, the entire media industry doesn’t have the answer either. If it did? Well, there goes the advertising industry. It would collapse under the weight of people who were now in control of not allowing media to influence their decisions. It’s all a balance of making money and the affect on people. All I’m trying to get across is try not to feel that overwhelming insecurity that you can’t upload X or Y because it might not get enough likes. It’s that sort of added stress you don’t need.

If you watch a modern superhero movie these days, guess who the hero is. Well I can name a few of their attributes: strong, silent, always in control and is not emotional.

Now for anyone that knows me at all well, they are aware that I’m a gamer. This is probably where the film touched home a bit with me. Video games obviously have an impact on male behaviour too. Reinforcing stereotypical structures of what a man should be. Typical characters being tall males with 5 o’clock shadow, brunette hair. When emotion sneaks in to the gameplay, by and large it’s anger. Any grief in the storyline is very underplayed, not really discussed or processed. Kids end up looking up to these traits and what they end up doing is looking up to someone who can’t express themselves emotionally and cannot be open or honest with anyone around them.

Combine this with the explosion of porn that boys see from the age 12 upwards and there is the poisonous concoction society has put upon men. Playing games, consuming media alone while seeing a skewed view of what ‘society is like’. Surely this plays a part in which has reared the ugly beast of a society we see today before us. The constant bombardment of objectifying women and intentionally or unintentionally, not seeing the humanity in girls plays its part in to the violence regularly seen in news outlets. Why has it become normal to assume that the latest shooting in the news was conducted by a male? It’s plainly clear that there is something fundamentally wrong with the male species today.

It’s no wonder that boys are three times more likely to be kicked out of school than girls and this transcends out of the education environment into the real world. The shocker? Well, male suicide is 7x higher than girls in the ages of 20-24. Now that’s one pill-shaped stat you may want to swallow with a glass of water. It’s clear that from that sole statistic alone, the issue is taboo.

Emotion in the modern man is something that is suppressed.

Respect Your Fellow Man

This leads me on to my final point, which I only realised after watching The Mask You Live In on Netflix. Heck, this final chapter sums up why the blog post was called what it is, shit happens. There are men in my life who haven’t provided that male figure to look up toward, be inspired by and lean on in hard times. However, I never considered that their story could follow the similar lines that were highlighted in such a film. It’s not just an issue that has come about since technology, it’s got roots far beyond that.

There is a quote from the film that I loved.

“…She saw enough in me to say ‘I know theres something going on with you, I know your dad died before you were born, but you’re using that as an excuse. You’re too smart to act like you are not. We don’t always get to choose what happens to us, but we have a responsibility to make the most out of it’.”

Everyone has been scarred from something in the past. Whether it be a sudden death, illness, heartbreak, financial woes, affairs, substance abuse, drinking problems… The point is, there are things out of our control and histories that people hide under the mask they present to society. Overthinking such problems where you believe you are alone in such woes are the stem of many mental health issues. It’s not just you who is feeling down, neither should it be normal to keep it behind that mask you carry around. This post hasn’t been called shit happens for the ‘shock factor’. As much as I hate the saying, it is a fact. Shit happens is a very dismissive saying but has a whole lot of truth to it with the lack of poetry to boot. What is at the essence of the matter is to be adaptable, go with the flow. I believe that those who are most adaptive to such situations are those who are strongest in today’s world. But it’s how you bounce back from those issues. If there are people that you look at with regret, consider what may have scarred them and how they perhaps failed at bouncing back. No government or self-help class will be able to help you bounce back if you don’t have that driving force within yourself.

I think my next blog post will be an insight in to my bucket list. It will go some way to provide insight in to who I am. The goals I set for myself and what I want to become. Because of the way I was raised, I want better for myself and therefore my kids. It may sound crazy but I like to self-reflect and work on myself. Heck, that’s what constitutes most of my portfolio and this blog!

On a bit of a tangent, I’m so excited to one day be a dad and inspire my son/daughter to be the best they can be. I’ll try to remember what this film had taught me about the battering that the modern man is taking these days while raising him/her. Personally, I believe it’s a bit too late for me to fully grow out of the mould society has put upon myself because I have been born in to it. As for my kids, well they have a fresh outlook.

I’ve grown up with people in my life where I look back and say ‘I’d hate to be like them‘. Instead of dwell upon how bad of an influence they were or how negative they had been on my upbringing, I bounce back from it. In some ways, those are the people that inspire me to succeed. I’d do anything to not become like them.

I could write on and on about the topic being discussed and I’m sure this won’t be the last time I bring up the subject. I’m sure it could be better written in parts but understand where I’m coming from… I’ve been brought into this taboo society but consider me an advocate for the small changes to make one massive one. Heck, it’s taken me months to perfect this blog post as it’s such a delicate matter that I feel very passionate about. It’s an area of interest that from about the age of 14 upwards, I noticed the shift all men are experiencing. To all who have got to this part of the blog post (somehow I have kept your interest!), again I highly recommend giving ‘The Mask You Live In’ a watch in your next Netflix + Chill session. The 90 minute documentary gives the subject a far better, well rounded, professional and honest insight in to it all. And no, I’m not sponsored by Netflix in any way (I wish)!

So what do I want to come of this post?

All I’d like is to make readers reconsider the next time they call the person next to them ‘gay’. The next time you see your mate having a cry and telling them to ‘man up’. Again, I’d like to emphasise that I am a product of this culture so doubt I can make much headway to break out of how I was brought up. But, I’ll try to consider this film from time to time and fingers crossed those small changes in all of us will make an impact.

But if there is one thing I want of this post though, is for you to watch The Mask You Live In.

With another blog post out in the wild, I’d like to finish this one off with something a bit different. It’s an announcement…

I’m donating a proportion of all the profits made from my ‘There’s No Place Like Summer Camp’ book to mental health charities. It’s a cause close to my heart since being affected with some mental health issues personally. I don’t think enough is being done to take this epidemic by the scruff of the neck and deal with it head on.

I don’t have the answers, but I’m sure providing my small input to the wild world of the web will go one step further to making someone else speak up and have someone to talk to.

Yours,

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

It’s been a while, huh?

Well allow me to fill you in why…

So it’s been two months since I moved up north to Manchester and it’s been absolutely nuts. Coincidentally, it’s also been two months since I last blogged, do you get the gist of where this blog post is going? So to fill you anonymous folk of the dark corners of the internet… From the very off with the move, I was independent. Viewing the houses I was potentially moving in to, making all of the necessary arrangements and paperwork. It was a gigantic leap from being in the “comfort” of my parents to owning my own pad.

Settling in to a new environment was refreshing, exciting and yet another step out of my comfort zone. New people to share experiences with and a totally new area of the country to explore. Of the upmost importance though, was the independence. From the very first day after the paperwork was signed, I was in control. What was I going to eat? How would I spend my days? Where would I go out at the weekends? How would I satisfy my hobbies? How would I meet new people?

Without divulging too much detail (this blog isn’t a diary!), these were all questions that became answered very quickly.’My first place’ was outstanding in all respects, which not everyone can say for themselves. In the space of just a few short weeks (time flew by!), I was a part of a new football team, cooking up a concoction of foods to broaden my horizons, attending a wide variety of events across the span of a week and was meeting new people all the time. My YouTube channel which was a long lost cousin of my video game hobby was back, alive and kicking ready for a new challenge. A Secret Diary of American Summer Camp is in a really exciting place (more info on that one later). I was ecstatic with my situation. There was just one part that was missing though. Employment.

In the couple of months I have been staying in Manchester, I’ve been on the case for employment. I was very lucky to have had many interviews for IT roles, but unlucky in the same if not greater sense. Though interviews were coming thick and fast, I was unable to land a role. Though I’ve been fortunate enough to self fund everything (near enough) I have done from the age of 15 upwards, I never expected to have been in a position where I would actually have to drain all of the resources I had saved up over the course of my life while looking for money coming in.

Now the time has come

Recently, I heard back from an interview at one of the best companies to work for in the UK. Heck, it’s a company called Chess Telecom if you’re really keen on stalking me. It’s not just me who claims this IT company is one of the best to work for either. It’s The Sunday Times too. Rated number 2, yes NUMBER FREAKING TWO in the UK for 2016. It’s no fluke either. Since 2010, the company have been climbing the tables on how they treat employees. In 2015? Number three. Wow. So it’s a company who have an incredible reputation and not only that, they are on the way up too. So I guess that’s what I have to blog about. The big news so to speak. A good period of time has gone by, I’ve gone through many interviews and just as my head was about to drop, this incredible opportunity comes around.

So my tidbit of advice or what I’ve learned? Time. Patience. Good things come to those who wait.

I have to say, that the move has been incredible. It’s time to update the portfolio once again.

Everything is Changing, and I’ve Been Here for too Long

Paloma Faith, who would have thought?

That one lyric from Sigma resonates with me this week as it’s been one heck of a journey and I’m about to Carpe Diem all over your screen. Let me begin…

I’m moving to Manchester.

So all my life, since the age of 0, I’ve lived in a small town just north of North London (I like to tell internationals that I’m actually from London, but I can’t say that to the people who are actually from the UK – they would laugh at me!). It’s been a blast, really. From the leisure centre, to the pubs that scatter my hometown, I found there to be enough for me to get by for what is approximately a quarter of my life (if I live to 100, major fist pump’s will be had at that grand old age #JustSaying). There was enough to keep me grounded living with the parents after finishing school, sixth form and university. In all honesty, at times I was living the life and full well knew it.

There were plenty of occasions when I couldn’t stand the town I was living in though, like how the majority of my friends went away for university. I got used to it, became stronger as an individual and only had to rely upon a small number of people to keep my motivation going.

But recently, I’ve found that the time has come for me to hang up my hat.

Everything is Changing…

The reason for the change is because I’ve become bored of the routine and not finding anything new + exciting these days. And from everyone I have spoken to about it, they totally understand and are super excited for me. There is no area in the country where you can live there for so long and not get tired of it! The past year or so, I’ve been looking forward to the day I can pack my bags and have new experiences.

So in early February, after many months of house hunting, I handed in my notice at an employer that actually treated me really well. It was the only way I was going to take that plunge. Just think about it, I could have waited a couple more months to get some premium Apple Training from my employer… And when that time comes rolling around, maybe I could stay a bit longer because then I can look at a house-share with those who return back from their final years at university…?

The point is, there is always going to be reasons why you won’t make a decision when it really needs to be made. The reasons for procrastinating can be the smallest of things and really, I find they hold you back. As for a personal example, I could have said no to Camp America. I could have earned 3x the amount of money I did out there, but now I know it would have meant I would have missed out on the best experience of my life. When it comes down to it, I always try and put my personal interests above anything else. I’ve learned it’s never worth doing it for the money… Now that’s a blog post waiting to happen.

Tell me more about Manchester

Why Manchester? Well to be honest with you anonymous folks, it was a toss up between Milton Keynes and Manchester. I visited Milton Keynes in December after it has had such a great reputation of being the upcoming, younger brother of London. In the few hours I spent there, I fell in love with the place and the people. There is so much to do in a city that feels as though it belongs in America (it’s very flat, like Florida).

The thing was, Manchester really came out of nowhere. It dawned upon me when daydreaming about other places to check out. The thing that really twisted my arm? The quality of connections I have up there. The majority of the best friends I have made live up north and that was all it took. The idea of being able to live with and intermingle different friendship groups was exciting. That was all it took to get the ball rolling.

A pretty risky move for sure. No guaranteed job and not being fully in the know of what to expect. Heck, I’d been there over a weekend in 2015 but didn’t have an eye out as a potential place to live!

But you know what, so what if I fail? While I doubt it’ll happen, it isn’t impossible. I’m young and ambitious. If I were to make a huge cock-up, I’d prefer it now so I learn from it instead of a midlife crisis with dependants.

So as I take the biggest risk of my life, not knowing what the f**k to expect, I’m excited. I’m going to be living with new housemates and will be living a stones throw away from incredible friends. Stories will be made, relationships will blossom ~~and I will become an adult.~~

Till the next time,